Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
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Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
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I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize