The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize