one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
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