i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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