I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize