i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize