a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
two words...techno handjob
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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