Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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