Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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