So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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