Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize