This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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