were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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