Will you blow on my dice?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize