It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize