girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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