Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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