I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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