Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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