My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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