can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
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I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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