Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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