Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize