so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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