i think i have two assholes
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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