I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
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It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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