Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
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Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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