I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize