There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize