Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
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