Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize