i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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