I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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