I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think im going to throw up on grandma
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize