life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize