Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize