my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize