When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize