I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize