I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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