her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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