We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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