This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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