Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize