I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize