A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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