can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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