No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
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No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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