the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize