The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize